BE A GOOD LISTENER FIRST, SPEAKER LATER
It might interests you to know that people may be impressed with how well we speak and so, we think that effective communication means talking a lot. We always like to talk a lot. There are a lot of people who like to talk about themselves, about what they have done and about what they have not done, about their health, ideas, etc. They hardly let other people open their mouths.
People get pleasure from speaking about themselves, but if they always speak about their achievements or their problems, people will get fed up with their egocentricity and would avoid them.
WHAT MATTERS
Conversation is a two-way activity. A person, who dominates the conversation, might feel good about it, because he or she attracts all the attention, but he or she might be avoided the next time.
TALKING IS NOT THE TOOL OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Responding to a speaker by means of nonverbal actions is also an important part of communication. Maintaining eye contact, facial expression, posture, gesture and dress is nonverbal signal that have a powerful influence on what and how we communicate.
Research shows that about 85% of what we communicate is nonverbal, whereas talking is just a small part. Yet most of us are largely unconscious of the nonverbal factors we use when communicating.
Communication doesn’t happen unless both parties practice the art of effective listening. Listening is an active process. It does not mean simply sitting silent and staring at someone.
Listening means paying attention not only to the story, but how it is told, the use of language and voice, and how the other person uses his or her body. In other words, it means being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages. Our ability to listen effectively depends on the degree to which we perceive and understand messages.
Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process. Listening is key to all effective communication, without the ability to listen effectively messages are easily misunderstood – communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated.
A good listener will listen not only to what is being said, but also to what is left unsaid or only partially said.
Active listening enhances our ability to absorb and pass on the information during any conversation.